and it calls us on and on 
so be here by my side, and watch the stars
they're ours.
make a wish or just take charge
the moment comes get lost and go far.

i think that we've got what it takes, to get this heart start beating again
so take it all the way

and our hearts are on the everglow
so just let go and fall into it
we begin, breathe in
here's our chance to go for something

so this is where we win, take the game. no blame.
theres a neon light inside that shines
and tearing down the walls in the way

deep inside we both know it
everything's hanging on this moment
its cold inside, but deep in the night
the light is bright enough to save the weakes ones but you're in the running
oh dont you give up or fade away

every action makes a reaction
we'll figure it out and make it happen.
and our hearts are on the everglow
so just let go and fall into it.

you dont have to tell me this. i already know.

liana, you were right.

giants won! the championships, anyways. haha so much fun. " cmon kid, who do we love? we love the blue! here we go giants, here we go *clap clap* hahaha 

but this night was really good, and it was exactly what i needed. thank you pat, for everything i mean everything. i love you. your still the closest ive been with anyone. 

and thanks lili, for helping me get through this. i love you so much too. and im sorry i didnt stick to my plans. i knew my mom would take it this way. but i still really want to do it. but i want to get my hair cut first, then dye it. maybe in a week or two. i wish my mom was cool with whatever i waanted to do with my hair. lol sorry i dissapointed you.

and thanks marty for being my "trampoline" as you like to call it lmao. we need to go on more walks

and happy birthday frank! =D must be pretty awesome being 17. cant wait. im gunna bake an awesome cake for you. 

hmm i think thats been pretty much it. right? yeah. wow. i got all worked up for that. lets go math quarterlys! i think i can take anything right now.

hmmm .school has been really good the last two days. and i thouroughly enjoyed my walk yesterday. other than that, rin made me watch one tree hill hahaha but it was good. in a non realistic kind of way but was still fun. the little kid is so cute it like breaks your heart. haha ohh tv.  hmm im nearly done with my one book, which was really inspiring and got you to see the other side. hmm i thought id have a lil more to talk about than this. other than the fact that i neeed more new music. hmmm . he looked at me and smiled, and i never actually knew that a girl could melt.  haha seriously though. zomg im loving the weather. haha i dont care if its january or march, the weather is sooo nice and im so happy bout it.  maybe ill watch some bob today. wait for either marty to come over if he is, or to hang out with frankinne when theyre done with thier project. =].

mmmmmm. i cant wait. stephys sleeping over. haha im gunna give her and rin their gifts. and im in the midst of putting the final touches on the fab 5 presents. but i kinda lost lili's. haha i hope i find it. and becca, enjoy your night tonight with your sister. and lili, sorry we assume its at your house. your house is just so big and open, i kinda guess it makes us feel open, therefore more willing to tell secrets and stuff. and you have a lot of privacy. i just feel like if it was at our house, everyone would talk to my mom or the family would be there while we were opening gifts. i just dont think our house is suited for this event. i guess everyone hates their own house. i promise i wont assume its at your house next time. sorry babe. i love you. and i cant wait to give you yours =D. haha im soooo souped. 


anyways. other things going on. god. its like 50% yes 50% no. i havent been this ambiguous. lol i keep going from one answer to another. gahhhhh. so confusing. ugh. haha. damn. its good though i guess. havent been like this for a while. havent felt like this for a while. i wish everyone could have the connection like we do. 


uhmm... i should probably finish the gifts. 
or finish watching spidy 3. which so far is horrible. but i appreciate the gift. its just a bad movie.

im on the highway to hell. lol or just listening to the song. either way


so the school week went by kinda fast and really slow at the same  time. all tests/quizes were easy, it was just annoying. and the fact we didnt have a half day on friday. haha yeah. ummmm. got most of my shopping done, most presents wrapped. still dont have anything for my secret santa though. and it sucks. cause i have no idea what to get them. 

uhm i have work in a lil bit. not looking foward to that. 

went to the hockey game saturday =]. haha good job boys, even though we lost pretty bad. joe fede, i hope you feel much better. lol i almost cried when you got hurt. damn those ref.s. they sucked so badly. 

well i prolly shouldnt procrastinate anymore. =].

haha i love that movie. such a chick flick. holy fuck i love it. lol top 10. 

anyways. so i wound up not killing my self when i found out. but i did scream a really loud "WHAT?!" in the middle of class. so yeah that got everybodys attention.
the thing is, i really do want you to be happy. and im pretty sure she cant do that for you. i bet 10 dollars that you guys have never purposely hung out alone together. 

its just that, its way too fast. i say you were desperate, you argue that its reallly not. 
it is. dont lie. i can see it in your eyes. so please dont play. you just have standards. but youre desperate.

its just soo wrong. does she give you butterflies when ever you hear her voice? or get excited when you see her? do your hands tingle at the thought that you can be holding them. does she make you laugh and comfort you when youre down? does she like you at your worst..especially when youre stubborn and refuse to believe that youre wrong? do you even have anything in common? have you known her for more, i dont know, say 3 months? do you even know her? does she even know you?the real you?

i know she doesnt. 
is it like how it was with steph? 

the thing is. i want us to be real friends again like we started to be. as a good friend, im obligated to give you advice(even if harsh) and point out when youre being stupid or rash.  and i cant do that if youre not even true to your feelings.

rins watching october road. 
so yeah. thats my fucking 4 cents.


oh. and i cant believe you went there with her.
thats fucking disgusting. you both are. i lost hope for you. i was going to start talking to you again but youre a fucking pig. 



my real close friends.
steph. 
liana.
maybe craig? well no. hes more like a brother. were always together and having fun. but we never share anything personal. well sometimes. but nothing too personal. 

yeah thats about it. 


i wish it will happen again.







here i am. there you go. again.